Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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