I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
