We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
