dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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