Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I will be naked everywhere
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
