it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
