he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
