Your mouth is God's brothel.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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