im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize