I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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