I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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