Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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