It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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