I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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