i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
