hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
