i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
