Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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