Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
