And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
