is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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