No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize