Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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