508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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