it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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