You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
