why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Four minutes until I can fart!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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