It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
