You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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