I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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