But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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