So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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