can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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