But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
