trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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