he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
