On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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