You can't motorboat a personality
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize