Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
