It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
