when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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