I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
