We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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