i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize