We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize