i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
