just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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