i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
