I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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