Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
