You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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