In the future we'll all be gay
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
