yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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