I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How's work?
Spinning.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
