apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
