i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
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