I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
