Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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