Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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