after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
