Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
