Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
