it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize