her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just want nice things and good sex
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
did i just pee glitter
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
