My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
