Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
