Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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