I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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