He is such a slut. More and more my type.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
